There's so many things i wanna say, but i cant find the right words to phrase it on this cyberspace where i dont know who's reading me anymore.
Are my readers still around now that ive stopped blogging for so long, and most entries are random thoughts with incoherence?
I've been feeling pretty stress these couple of weeks. Back working at CS is great, but the projects im handling is killing me quite a bit. My boss aint putting a lot of pressure though his boss wants results quite immediately, but i am putting a lot of pressure on myself. I want to prove my worth, and my capabilities, but everytime i try to do that, i tend to over-stress myself to the extent of breaking down and giving it up.
It happens all the time, my close friends would totally understand it. So when i whine and bitch about it, all they do is keep mum and let me talk because they know that í'll get through it by the end of the timeline.
I'm into my 4th month of uni life and i have no clue what was being taught the past 3 months. I havent started a single bit of revision and i kept procrastinating because i know that once i start, i'll feel even more stressed up and i'll definitely break down and collapse and fall back into my demoralised zone where i just wanna do nothing all day but sleep and feel depressed.
I am having a new life right now, focusing very much on myself. Cycling every Sunday for 2 hours, eating right, sleeping and waking up early, no more going to the C-word, drinking more plain water, taking care of my face and the list goes on. Just spent more than 1k for IPL treatment, next will be spending a bomb on my legs. I wanna be and feel awesome!
And if work and studies aint killing my brain cells enough, there's still someone out there who's constantly on my mind, killing me every second.
Wish you could understand me more.
The reason why i hate falling in love, is because my mind is always elsewhere and my heart is always missing.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
* mates.
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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